New MPC Experience Announced: The Patagonian Terror
Apr 1, 2018 12:10:29 GMT -5
eclosis, rob, and 2 more like this
Post by thegenii on Apr 1, 2018 12:10:29 GMT -5
I just received an email from the MPC announcing a new experience, which makes zero sense since they're dumping all the existing experiences.
Nevertheless, "The Patagonian Terror" appears to be even more creepy than "Demon Jar."
Here's the email I received from The Curator:
True to our word, we at The Mysterious Package Company are proud to announce our latest Experience, a joyride of terror and festering horror: "The Patagonian Terror." Consisting of two mailings and concluding with an artifact of notable revulsion nailed shut in one of our signature wooden crates, our latest experience is guaranteed to make you think twice before engaging in any long journeys in dark environments.
In the first mailing, beginning with a seemingly innocent hike through the dark woods of Patagonia, our travelers become separated from one another and resort to communicating with each other and the outside world via missives tied to the backs of wild foxes, who routinely leave the forest to prey on young rabbits.
The second mailing finds our hikers reunited and following a path told to them by an ancient crone with a hairy pimply chin.
The contents of the crate reveal what our group finds inside a large box inside a larger trunk inside a secret wall inside a hidden room inside a previously unknown tomb located next to a Burger King.
HELL awaits those who choose to take this trip, because it's going to take you 6 months for all the crap to get mailed, and the artifact is a cheap piece of trash we were able to source from a Chinese factory which regularly overproduces and counterfeits the expensive items it produces.
"The Patagonian Terror" is being produced in extremely limited numbers because so few people are willing to send us money these days.
Don't let the door of opportunity slam shut on your big toe.
Order today.
Price: $750.
Nevertheless, "The Patagonian Terror" appears to be even more creepy than "Demon Jar."
Here's the email I received from The Curator:
True to our word, we at The Mysterious Package Company are proud to announce our latest Experience, a joyride of terror and festering horror: "The Patagonian Terror." Consisting of two mailings and concluding with an artifact of notable revulsion nailed shut in one of our signature wooden crates, our latest experience is guaranteed to make you think twice before engaging in any long journeys in dark environments.
In the first mailing, beginning with a seemingly innocent hike through the dark woods of Patagonia, our travelers become separated from one another and resort to communicating with each other and the outside world via missives tied to the backs of wild foxes, who routinely leave the forest to prey on young rabbits.
The second mailing finds our hikers reunited and following a path told to them by an ancient crone with a hairy pimply chin.
The contents of the crate reveal what our group finds inside a large box inside a larger trunk inside a secret wall inside a hidden room inside a previously unknown tomb located next to a Burger King.
HELL awaits those who choose to take this trip, because it's going to take you 6 months for all the crap to get mailed, and the artifact is a cheap piece of trash we were able to source from a Chinese factory which regularly overproduces and counterfeits the expensive items it produces.
"The Patagonian Terror" is being produced in extremely limited numbers because so few people are willing to send us money these days.
Don't let the door of opportunity slam shut on your big toe.
Order today.
Price: $750.
