If Poe Had Written "A Visit from St. Nicholas"
Dec 24, 2016 8:21:30 GMT -5
thebeard, Beckett, and 7 more like this
Post by Todd on Dec 24, 2016 8:21:30 GMT -5
Some thirty years ago, A young High School lad asked himself what would the poem "A Visit from Saint Nicholas" have been like if Edgar Allan Poe had written it. This was the result:
The Fatman
Once upon a midnight cheery
I was sitting, weak and weary,
After many a frantic hour of shopping left me filled with woe.
While sleep was my eyes entrancing,
I was startled by a prancing;
A sound akin to someone dancing
On my roof, upon the snow.
"'Tis some maniac," I muttered, "dancing on my roof in snow.
"It is only this, I now."
Ah, distinctly I remember
'Twas early morn, Twenty-Five December,
When I, about to sleep surrender, heard the dancing start to slow.
Curiosity swelled within me.
Then I heard, within my chimney,
I recall, I heard it keenly,
The attempted entry of my foe.
In my fireplace I then saw a fat and red-clothed figure show.
He stepped out with a sack in tow.
And as I hid behind a chair,
I could not help but just to stare
At this husky, bearded fat man whom I thought that I should know.
He looked around. Instead of stealing,
Opened his sack and commenced feeling.
He stooped until, when nearly kneeling,
He found a box sealed with a bow.
Then, just as I had thought to see his criminal intentions show,
He dropped the box, and turned go.
"Fat man," said I, "dressed like devil -
"Tell me, be you good or evil,
"Stealing in here late at night before the sound of the cock crow.
"Tell me, man, what be this hobby?
"Coming here as if to rob me
"And just as I'm about to stop thee
"You leave a box, and then you go."
He looked at me as if to speak, then drew his pipe, making it glow.
Quoth the fat man, "Ho ho ho!"
He placed a finger aside his nose,
And nodding, up the chimney rose
With that bag of his, now lighter, once again in tow.
Upon the roof resumed the dancing,
Progressing to a hectic prancing,
And I rushed to my window chancing
To see the crimson fat man go.
Perhaps to see him leap from high and plummet to the ground below.
Again he shouted "Ho ho ho!"
"On Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen,
"Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen!"
Above I saw nine reindeer, flying, off my rooftop, with my foe.
They flew on straight, and then turned right.
The fat man called as they left sight,
"Merry Christmas all, and goodnight!"
I stared, dumbfounded, at the snow.
Did I just see a tiny sleigh pulled by a team of flying doe?
And was the lead deer's nose aglow?
The Fatman
Once upon a midnight cheery
I was sitting, weak and weary,
After many a frantic hour of shopping left me filled with woe.
While sleep was my eyes entrancing,
I was startled by a prancing;
A sound akin to someone dancing
On my roof, upon the snow.
"'Tis some maniac," I muttered, "dancing on my roof in snow.
"It is only this, I now."
Ah, distinctly I remember
'Twas early morn, Twenty-Five December,
When I, about to sleep surrender, heard the dancing start to slow.
Curiosity swelled within me.
Then I heard, within my chimney,
I recall, I heard it keenly,
The attempted entry of my foe.
In my fireplace I then saw a fat and red-clothed figure show.
He stepped out with a sack in tow.
And as I hid behind a chair,
I could not help but just to stare
At this husky, bearded fat man whom I thought that I should know.
He looked around. Instead of stealing,
Opened his sack and commenced feeling.
He stooped until, when nearly kneeling,
He found a box sealed with a bow.
Then, just as I had thought to see his criminal intentions show,
He dropped the box, and turned go.
"Fat man," said I, "dressed like devil -
"Tell me, be you good or evil,
"Stealing in here late at night before the sound of the cock crow.
"Tell me, man, what be this hobby?
"Coming here as if to rob me
"And just as I'm about to stop thee
"You leave a box, and then you go."
He looked at me as if to speak, then drew his pipe, making it glow.
Quoth the fat man, "Ho ho ho!"
He placed a finger aside his nose,
And nodding, up the chimney rose
With that bag of his, now lighter, once again in tow.
Upon the roof resumed the dancing,
Progressing to a hectic prancing,
And I rushed to my window chancing
To see the crimson fat man go.
Perhaps to see him leap from high and plummet to the ground below.
Again he shouted "Ho ho ho!"
"On Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen,
"Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen!"
Above I saw nine reindeer, flying, off my rooftop, with my foe.
They flew on straight, and then turned right.
The fat man called as they left sight,
"Merry Christmas all, and goodnight!"
I stared, dumbfounded, at the snow.
Did I just see a tiny sleigh pulled by a team of flying doe?
And was the lead deer's nose aglow?